…and it hits you like a truck.

To say that life has been hectic lately for the Eddy family would probably be the understatement of my life! For the past year, we have been doing everything we could to complete our adoption, and two weeks ago we were able to bring Joyce and Desmond to their new home. Joyce and Desmond have had a very different life than we have, and EVERYTHING here is different. The food, the smells, the landscape, having a bedroom with only two people in it. Eating three meals a day, Having parents is something neither of them had really experienced for the last five years. New family members, grandmas and grandpas, and a dog. The dog still kind of freaks them out.

Our first week started off with a bang.. lots of tantrums, crying and fits from our little man. He has cried so many times for his orphanage Mama, it is heartbreaking. Joyce was very quiet and remains a girl of few words. She also has had some sad times, it is such a change, and it feels like they are almost in shock. We have been smothering them in hugs and love, and trying our best to keep calm, through the fits and crying. Desmond loves to hug and squeezes you so tight that it hurts. Joyce hugged me willingly all by herself last night, right before bed, and there it was. The love that hits you like a truck. It’s painful and shocking wonderful, and the most amazing thing, to feel that love from them. We have loved them from afar for so long, and loved the idea of them. It’s nothing like a newborn kind of love, it’s something much more messy. These kids have formed personalities and senses of humor without you, they have grown up not learning that we are people they can trust. They also have fits of rage and mourning and bad manners. We are new parents in a new way. And not at all prepared enough, But they love us anyway. I think we are probably two of the luckiest people I know. They don’t know that we won’t beat them. They don’t know that I would give anything for them, for any of our kids. but they are starting to trust us. Joyce is lightening up, and smiling more. Desmond is crying less everyday.

Jake and Carter are feeling the love too. Jake has taken to Desmond like he was always meant to be his big brother. When Carter hears Desmond cry at bedtime, he goes in to check on him and rubs his back. It’s a beautiful thing. Not in the traditional, everything is perfect kind of beautiful, but the loud and crazy, this is the life that was meant for us kind of way.

We are thankful every day for this amazing life, that God has given us.

The airport! We are loved!

Together.

Our kids are home!  At the moment, all of our four kids are tucked safely away sleeping.  This makes me happy.  It is still so shocking to see them here.  Something that we have just imagined for so long, is here and so real.  We had a very long trip home, over 30 hours in travel.  Joyce and Desmond were amazing on the plane, but challenging (to say the least)  at the airports.  The last and shortest flight was all smiles and happiness, getting excited about Jake, Carter and especially Daddy.  When my boys here in the U.S. saw us coming down the escalator, they all ran to us.  It was so beyond amazing to see them all together.  Just a little walk down the hallway and I could hear them screaming, the rest of the family.  They had balloons and signs and a roar of excitement!  Within minutes Desmond and the many little kids were all chasing each other around the airport.  They were loaded up with presents and hugs, and we were off! 

Our first meal in the United States was Steak-n-Shake, haha!  It’s just what was close and easy.  The kids ate fries and ice cream, and just took it all in.  Desmond made the kids laugh.  We were all pretty tired, and ready to be home.  When we got home we were greeted by more family, gifts and food! 

It is a blurry, crazy bunch of days, this past week.  We are all pretty tired and out of our element.  So much change happening so quickly for everyone.  At first Joyce and Desmond were waking up at all hours of the night, flipping the lights on, and waking everyone up.  We have been searching for foods that they like and are willing to eat.  So much here is different for them.  They are cold, even inside with the heat on.  We have had doctors appointments and a tour of the school this week, getting ready for them to start.  Desmond and Joyce are struggling, with so much to adjust to, and mourning the loss of their home, in Ghana.  Even though their home was an orphanage for the last five years, it is all they have known for so long, it is a loss for them.  They also have had a relationship with their biological mother, and have spent many hours crying for her.  It is impossible for us to fix this for them, it will just take lots of time, patience, love and counseling!  We have had fits of rage from Desmond that are so loud I am surprised that our neighbors have not called to check on us.  I’m sure they can hear some of the screaming. 

We have had some rough stuff, and some amazingly happy moments.  Watching the kids jump on the trampoline together and laugh is such a beautiful thing.  One day after school Joyce grabbed and held Carter’s hand all the way home, after we picked him up.  So sweet!  Jake and Desmond are buddies, and Jake is a great big brother to him already.  It has been a challenging week for Jake and Carter too, and we have been trying to have little moments of bonding (sneaking out for ice cream). 

When Desmond is happy, he is very happy!  He loves to cuddle and squeezes you so tight when he hugs you.  He is already a funny little man, talking in crazy voices and making us laugh. 

We have so far to go, and with so little sleep, that’s about all I have for you..my eyes are closing as I write this.  Life is awesome and crazy and hard.  We wouldn’t have it any other way.  Well, maybe a little less hard, haha, but still, it is amazing and we are so happy they are here.  Praying and hoping they start to feel safe and loved here.  We just want them to be happy and have another chance at a happy life with a family, so glad it’s ours.    

 

Day 2 and 3,Someone must have prayed the bugs away. And the bathroom.

So, day two started with both of us realizing that we hadn’t seen one bug yet!  Last time I was here, Teresa and I wrestled with roaches the size of a small dog.  Maybe a little exaggeration, but they were big!  No bugs are a big plus! 

We woke up and waited on our driver and friend Kelly.  We went to the beach, bought a few souvenirs and put our feet in the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.  I got a little teary eyed, sitting on a tall wooden bench at an outside tiki hut type place, drinking cold Fantas with my sister and kids in Africa. How strange for us to be here. I am so glad she is with me! While we were at the beach we saw a little gang of naked boys, none any older than maybe 10, who I think were working on the fishing boats. We were able to give them all little coloring books and crayons, and they loved them.
After the beach, our driver took us to the Sizzler, where we had some lunch. It is not air conditioned, but had a nice breeze blowing through the open windows. Mysty and I braved a pizza and the kids of course had chicken and rice. Every single time. Everywhere we go, we go with a crowd. Our driver’s car should have held 4, but we had 6 in the backseat and 2 in the front. It felt like a clown car!
We walked to the orphanage after lunch, sweating until our clothes were soaked. It is still very hot here, and carrying around all of our backpacks doesn’t help. We handed our small cars and toys to the kids. They always are so happy to receive any little thing.
More walking, back to the hotel to meet Abraham to finish up our paperwork. I have their passports, visas and court decrees. We are ready to go.
For dinner, we walked down to the London Bar, and the kids ordered a fish, along with their rice. Something different! Mysty and I ate some fruit. We are not too adventurous with the eating. Both of us have had a few issues with our stomachs.
Joyce’s sadness has begun and she and Anastasia went to sleep crying. Anastasia has been on our floor sleeping the whole time we have been here. They are going to be hard to separate. I am dreading their goodbye.
The days are long and hot and we are tired.
Seeing the kids again was an amazing feeling, and I am so glad Desmond remembered me. I was worried.
My sister and I are quite a pair to be traveling together in a country like this. WE had a foul odor in our bathroom, and a very suspicious old rug. We made a deal that if she sniffed it, I would toss it..and she did! The smell was greatly improved. WE have joked that our noses may be having the biggest adventure of all.
I miss my people. I want a hot shower and clean water again. I’m ready for home.

Day 2/ the bathroom.
We woke up today very tired. Desmond is very hard to sleep with, he smothers me and kicks Mysty all night. Also, Joyce woke up at 3am to play with the IPad. Uh, no! We all woke up around 6, so we were off. After our cold showers, we had breakfast..my last granola bar! So sad!
Abraham and our driver met us and we left for Cape Coast. We changed our plans after we were told it was just about an hours drive. Ha! After about 30 minutes of driving, my poor sister was sick, and we had to pull over. After driving for about another hour, we asked how long and the driver said about two more hours! There were 5 of us in the backseat, making it a very long and hot ride! We bought water on the way, out of the windows. There are people selling everything, everywhere. Water, shrimp, boiled eggs, candy, tires, really pretty much everything. A lady stuck a shrimp in my face and tried to get me to buy some.
Once we made it to the castle, we were both glad we made the trip. We walked through the museum and had an hour long guided tour. It was so sad standing there, and walking through the “door of no return”, where so many slaves were taken. We saw the branding irons and shackles they used, and walked deep into the dungeons, where the slaves were kept. Sad doesn’t even touch it, it was just unbelievable.
After our tour we ate at a restaurant on the beach. Yep, chicken and rice. Mysty and I had French fries and I tried to eat a cheese sandwich that ended up looking like a marshmallow and egg salad sandwich.
We walked into a tiny dress shop, and Joyce asked for a pair of shoes that cost 320 cedis, which is something like $160. I had a good laugh and we left. They were cheap shoes that may cost $10 at home.
WE were stopped by the police on the road, and asked to give 2 cedis. It was strange and kind of scary, they all had big guns hanging on them.
Mysty has not been feeling good today and we had to make an emergency stop. When she came out of the bathroom her face told me there was more to the story. She said she couldn’t talk about it, and asked me to just please poor some water on her hands. I heard the rest of the story tonight and laughed so hard I almost peed. She will have to share that with you. Let’s just say I’m so proud of my germa-phobe sister, she is being so brave.
We stopped at the shoprite and got cake and doughnuts for the kids at the orphanage. The loved it and we were all sticky by the time it was over.
One more night and we are headed home. I can’t imagine what an adventure the airplane will be for us.
Will let you know!